ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
