I heard we made out
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
