the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
