I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
