Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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