they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
