I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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