I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
