Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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