I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My vagina just clenched in fear
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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