I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
