tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
