think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
MIDGETS
????
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
