You smell like stripper and shame
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
