New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
