I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
