YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
