You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sorry about my life...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
