I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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