So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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