$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
