we're blogging at a bar
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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