so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
