...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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