omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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