She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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