Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
