this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Semen is not good for contacts.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
