Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
