I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
