Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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