I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i think i just lost a toe
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
