there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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