Screwed.edu
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
