Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
What drink are we having for lunch?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
