Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
