How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
