why do cheetos always look like penises
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
