it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You dont lie about slip and slides
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
