conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
