I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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