i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
