I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
