i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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