She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
