hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
