Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Send help, water and tortillas.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize