Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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