would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
