Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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