come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she looked like the before picture.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
