I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
zippers are such a cool invention
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
