She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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