Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize