dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
