i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
