so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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