I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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