I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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