Your tits are I can't wait for
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
