paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
