My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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