This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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