Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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