hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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