Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
