i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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