forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
