goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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