woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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