As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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