She said her name was "party"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
